2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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