I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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