It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
