You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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