Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome