I feel like I'm in dance class right now
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
