I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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