Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.