Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening