You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.