I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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