Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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