Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
