if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
