So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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