i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
