remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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