I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
