He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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