i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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