Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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