It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
