I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
