I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
