Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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