I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
