I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
