somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
