so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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