it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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