Soap is not a condiment
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize