am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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