I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
