I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
