i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
im on a boat
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