so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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