His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
