so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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