she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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