omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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