so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
