I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
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I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
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Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize