I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
