I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
