brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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