For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
