Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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