i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
