guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
