I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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