he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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