After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
