while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Holy shit dude........stairs
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
