yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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