She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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