One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
