I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
