You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
