Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
