if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
