Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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