Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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