I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
