I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
