happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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