So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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