so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I AM VODKA MAN
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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