it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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