just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
