Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
